Lucky Canuck News

HAMILTON – A Hamilton ghost, who resides in an old house by the lake, has been tormented by a strange new tenant for months. The ghost, Reginald R. Miller, says this is the worst thing that has happened to him since he died in 1892. “Seriously, this guy is a total freak,” said Miller from the attic in his house. “I just want to go about my normal ghost business like everyone else- you know, haunting, taunting, general tomfoolery - but I can’t focus on any of that with this weirdo distracting me all the time.” The “weirdo” in question is 32 year-old Jason Potts, who moved into the house in Feb. 2020. Miller said Potts was relatively normal at first, but things quickly deteriorated. “At first I thought, hey, this guy seems normal enough, but then after a month or so, he started acting very strange,” said Miller while floating in the middle of the room. “First he started acting really anxious all the time, and kept frantically looking at a glowing rectangle in his hand. Then he stopped le

HAMILTON – A local woman is upset about all the “covidiots” she sees and hears about online not taking the proper precautions to curb the spread of COVID-19. “Honestly these people need to give their head a shake,” said Maureen Orlevski, a local woman and “fun” mom. “Everyone just needs to wear a mask, physically distance, and not get together for the holidays… except for our family of course, because we are careful.” Orlevski, who lives in a 1,500 square foot condo in Hamilton, says she plans on hosting 20 family members and friends for Christmas dinner on Dec. 25.   “Its just those gosh darn millennials in Toronto making everything worse. Luckily, we are in Hamilton, which is much safer,” said Orlevski. Hamilton is currently in the red zone of Ontario’s pandemic framework and has the most active cases of COVID-19 it has seen since the beginning of the pandemic. “And listen, its not like we won’t be taking any precautions,” Orlevski continued. “For starters I won’t be kissin